Friday, November 5, 2010

Angry Lake Lashes out at Indolent V.B Sailors

An enraged Lake Winnipeg unleashed fury on languid sailors at Victoria Beach on October 28 2010, what has been dubbed a “weather bomb” the storm wreaked havoc on the entire South Basin, severely eroding shorelines, damaging property, and curiously taking a direct strike at the Victoria Beach Yacht Club.

About the storm, Environment Canada Meteorologist and Lake Winnipeg climate expert Carl Carlson explained: “Essentially the perfect conditions for a severe storm made themselves present and the barometer dropped like a brick to record low levels, winds as high as 100km/hr whipped up from the North West essentially funneling water from the much larger North basin in to the South basin at an alarming rate. The result was a tremendous rise in water levels over a very short period of time in the south basin coupled with unusually strong winds, and as a consequence flooding, erosion, and heavy damage to much of the basin, including the Victoria Beach Yacht Club”.

As if the situation weren’t grim enough a potential new motive for the storm has reared its ugly head. After surveying the damage to the VBYC boats and compound and after conferring with VBYC executive members Carlson was less convinced that this was just a random act of climatic violence. Carlson elaborated: “Everyone is quick to point to climate chames as the cause but I think there’s something else going on here, you might even say a hidden agenda on the part of the storm”.

After weighing all of the evidence, Carlson was led to this startling conclusion: The storm may have been targeting languid sailors. After consultations with VBYC executive committee representatives, several facts are clear: The storm appears to have targeted some of the least dedicated sailors, whose boats over the years have been rotting in the VBYC compound and on the shores of yacht club beach, rarely ever having their sails hoisted or hulls refreshed by the water. Some underused boats are missing completely, while many were left full of water and scattered about the compound from the rising tide. It is unknown and a dubious exercise to predict how many languorous sailors can be bothered with draining and moving their boats before the harsh prairie winter most likely does irreparable damage, but hopes are not high. In this regard it appears the lake may have simply been culling the weak of the V.B sailing herd so to speak, essentially instituting its own form of Darwinian evolution on the sailing scene.

Local sailing prodigy Matthew “Cannonball” MacLeod offered his take: “Maybe the sailors are soothing to the lake, you know like a good back scratch, and with less and less of them getting out, the lake just kind of snapped, it couldn’t scratch the itch”. Carlson wouldn’t confirm nor deny these sentiments but did have a message for VBYC members: “For V.B sailors this is a clear wake up call, the lake is angry at the pitiful number of sailors on the water. This was no weather bomb, it was a shit bomb dropped on lazy VB sailors”.

VBYC Insider

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