Friday, February 26, 2016

Hot on the heels of the tremendous news that beer can help you pick up chicks, we are delighted to report that a Winnipeg man trapped in his car by an avalanche urinated his way to freedom after working his way through 60 half-litre bottles of Moose Head beer. 

According to the Victoria Beach Herald, AJ Tooley was off on holiday when the snow swallowed his Audi near Whistler, British Columbia. Initially, he tried to dig his way out via the car's window, but soon realized that the snow would fill the vehicle long before he could break free.

Mercifully, he had stocked up on essential supplies of alcohol and quickly formulated a cunning plan: "I was scooping the snow from above me and packing it down below the window, and then I peed on it to melt it. It was hard and now my kidneys and liver hurt. But I'm glad the beer I took on holiday turned out to be useful and I managed to get out of there." I guess he didn't consider pouring the beer directly onto the accumulating snow? 

Rescuers eventually found Tooley staggering drunk on a mountain path four days after his ordeal began.

There you have it.  Next time you travel in Avalanche Terrain, make sure you have AT LEAST 60 beers with you.

Sources for this post:
Nowhere, this was completely made up.