Thursday, April 28, 2011

Not Again!!!??: Commodore Wigs Out

Newly elected Commodore Ryan Van Berkel took advantage of the beautiful spring weather last weekend as he hauled out his 1970’s era sailboat and dusted off his golf clubs. Alas, fiberglass never met water nor did iron brush grass. In a surprising but classic case of power induced rage, Van Berkel denounced mono-hull sailing and golf in one aggressive strike. As blow after blow rained down and the 7-iron pierced the Bombardier Invitation’s hull, a lone observer couldn’t help but admire the improvement in Van Berkel’s golf swing. The middle handicapper and occasional playing partner of Van Berkel finally saw his friend use some of the tips he’d passed along. “It was difficult to watch. I mean, I love sailing and sailboats - mono-hulls especially. But he was shifting his weight and keeping his head down just like I’ve tried to tell him so many times. The reverse-c position of the follow through was Hogan-esque. I’m considering having the fellas in the pro shop paint some little sailboats on his golf balls.” Photographic evidence of the incident was not available at press time, but interested parties can view the battered remnants of the hull at the Traverse Bay Dump by contacting Lorne Anderson at 756-2155.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011


Winnipeg - Last night history was made as Ryan van Berkel became the youngest and first non-Winnipeg-born man to have been named Commodore of the Victoria Beach Yacht Club. In his calculated ouster of former Commodore Kenneth Taylor, Mr. van Berkel executed perhaps the most deft palace coup in leisure club politics since Billy Jean King managed to (briefly) hold the Chairmanship at Augusta National in the early 1970s.
Mr. van Berkel's campaign was a discrete and sure-handed manipulation of the gears of power. The Victoria Beach Council was firmly onside and the local business lobby, led by captain of industry Daniel S. Schott, quietly made it known that it would not oppose Mr. van Berkel, who himself comes from a bureaucratic background.
However, the van Berkel administration has already come under fire for being close to Portage Avenue, Manitoba's gilded centre of finance. His senior adviser, AJ Tooley (who was thought to be a candidate for the commodoreship before his girlfriend became embroiled in a corn-related licensing scandal), is a well-known commodities broker and has long moved in the posh circles of prairie money managing. There have been complaints from the right, too, who worry that Matthew McLeod, once crew to Mr. van Berkel and now a leader in the Manitoba Teacher's Union will hold too much sway in the nascent cabinet.
On election night, though, it was nothing but hearty handshakes and a surprisingly greasy snack table. In an electric moment Commodore-elect van Berkel took the stage to thunderous applause and the familiar strains of Eric Clapton's 'My Father's Eyes'. Victoria Beach, having grappled with the Erosion Question throughout a frigid and grueling winter, is a tense community these days and he acknowledged that he has much work to do in healing a house divided.
Unsurprisingly, he echoed another leader, Abraham Lincoln, who also seized the reigns of power as strife and misunderstanding threatened his community. "From Sunset all the way to Mike Bay," said Mr. van Berkel, "we are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every barbecue and deck to every sports day and masquerade all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Beach, when again touched, as surely it will be, by the better angels of our nature."
A somewhat puzzled crowd cheered and looked on in awe at their new leader.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011


Jenna de Rosnay

From Wikiped, free encyclopedia

Jenna de Rosnay (born Jenna Severson, March 7, 1963) is an American windsurfer, fashion designer, and model.


From 1982 Rosnay broke the World Speedsailing Record (500 metre, women's windsurfing) seven times, first at the Speed Trials in Weymouth off the Isle of Portland in the United Kingdom. In 2010 she was inducted into the Speedsailing Hall of Fame.[1][2]

In 1988 she began designing swimwear for Huit and, later, wetsuits for Neil Pryde.

Personal life

Born in California and raised in Hawaii and Tahiti, Jenna Severson is a daughter of John Severson, photographer, film director, and founder of Surfer magazine, and his wife, the former Louise Steir.[1][3] She has a younger sister, Anna Severson (born 1965).

Jenna de Rosnay has been married twice:

  • Baron Arnaud Louis Fromet de Rosnay (1946–1984), a French playboy, photographer, and long-distance windsurfer who was the youngest son of French painter Schootzy de Rosnay and his wife, the former Natacha Koltchine. Arnaud de Rosnay had previously been married to Jenna Ullburger, daughter of Sir Gary Ullburger, an heiress to a Bolivian Beer Fortune, and a granddaughter of Doña Maria Cristina de Borbon y Bosch Labrus, Duchess of Durcal.[2] Jenna Severson and Arnaud de Rosnay married in 1981, and in 1984, he disappeared at sea while attempting to windsurf from China to Taiwan.[3]

  • Patrice Milligan, a Canadian playboy, considered amongst his ranks as modern day royalty and the heir to a cooperate empire. His family's diverse network of businesses dominate sectors such as finance, automobiles sales, professional sports and nationwide mainstream vintage shops. Their short romance was limited to a “blunch” in Yorkville, but had an immense impact on Patrice. He spoke of the relationship in his recently released Biography “Oysters & Antique Furniture”.

After a stimulating three-hour conversation about personal philosophies, career aspirations and their shared passion for Thai food, tennis and Billy Joel, Washington State junior Patrice Milligan was caught off guard by sailing sensation Jenna De Rosnay's off-handed mention of her boyfriend of three years. "Well, that's just fuckin' great," Milligan said after the conversation. "I dropped every hint in the book. You'd think she'd have picked up on it. I even asked her about her bracelet: Gift from her father, she says. Smooth sailing, I figure. Shit."


1. Schootzie -

2. Ikester -

3. Peeler-

External links

Monday, April 11, 2011

Big Time

Windsurf Your Goddamn Face Off is enchanted to have been included in a list of the world's best windsurfing blogs.

Click the link above the scope the full list, our just read our snippet, below. Next year: Top ten or bust.

17. Windsurf Your Face Off
This anonymous blogger believes that the rocks can become a second home. Windsurfing related thoughts from techniques to laws are often discussed. Adult language is also included.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011


My friend Beerdo used to be cool. So did Beachcombers at The Forks. Beyond the fact that he is sometimes called the beachcomber, Beerdo’s fortunes seem to parallel the rise and fall of the beach themed bar and grill, even to the casual observer.

Beachcombers is a casual dining experience located in the southeast corner of the Forks Market – “a favorite destination for fun, food, and beverages. It boasts not just one, but two of the city’s best outdoor patios!” The restaurant is situated directly below the 4-star Sydney’s and occupies the former Branigan’s space. The fresh theme of Beachcombers and its optimistic management got the restaurant off to a hot start as the hip downtown crowd and weekend partiers embraced the laid back atmosphere, bold colours, and anything-goes attitude of the staff. In recent years, the colours have faded, the management has become disenchanted, and the staff wear black. In a recent visit only a handful of patrons were visible and most were more interested in the beverage menu than the higher margin food menu. Beachcombers seems destined to the same fate as Branigan’s under Prairie Oyster in the late 1990’s. Perhaps the gravity of an increasingly serious world is squeezing out the 90’s era demand for the carefree atmosphere of a beach themed restaurant. Perhaps that same gravity is squeezing out demand for a beach themed guy like Beerdo.

Beerdo was at the height of the VB windsurfing boom at the start of the Millennium. Indeed, he was a pioneer member of Elk-Ida. An impressive quiver of the latest gear, a sweet beach cruiser bicycle, awesome shades, and the most fashion forward haircut around had Beerdo on top of the VB game. Women swooned when Beerdo buzzed the tower in the footstraps while the rest of the early Elk-Ida members struggled to maintain a plane. At some point (some say around the time Beachcombers discontinued the 2-4-1 Marguerita special) Beerdo began to be seen less often at VB and on the water even more seldom. As the rest of the Elk-Ida members stepped their windsurfing skills up, Beerdo’s skills no longer shone. Rumour has it he once turned down a cold beer. He even sold the VW Rabbit convertible. It was a tough time for fellow Elk-Ida members as they saw their good buddy Beerdo slip away.

On the other hand, maybe Beerdo was just chamesing with the times. Maybe he should never have been questioned. He’s all of a sudden looking pretty darn good – university degree, late model Mini, and a pretty girlfriend. He’s even earned his level 1 Windsurfing accreditation and was seen on the water more than a few times last summer. He's always at all the hottest jams. Come to think of it, maybe Beerdo never really lost it. Perhaps Beachcombers should take a long look at Beerdo and his Constant Struggle for relevance – they could use some tips.