Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Local Yacht Club Expanding at Same Rate as Universe

In what has been hailed as a scientific breakthrough by the National Aeronautics and Sailing Association or NASA, it was discovered late last week after members approved the most recent expansion of the Victoria Beach Yacht Club that throughout its history the Club has been expanding at almost exactly the same rate as the Universe. NASA scientist Dr. Richard Ratball shed some light on the subject: “Everyone knows that the Universe is slowly expanding overtime at a rate of approximately 960 square feet every 20-25 years, what our team has just come to realize through decades of painstaking research is that the Victoria Beach Yacht Club (VBYC) has been expanding over time at a remarkably similar rate”.

Ratball and his team have long suspected a relationship between VB sailing and the Universe that acts as a compound to our own galaxy. From the creation of the original yacht club in the 1980’s, dubbed the “big beach bang” by founding members, to the 960 square foot expansion in the 1990’s. Now that the much maligned 960 square foot 2010 expansion has been endorsed it has become obvious to even the casual observer that there is a significant relationship between Sailing and the vast unknown that is the Universe. Dr. Ratball explains: “It is clear that sailing’s sheer inertia or its resistance to change in momentum has fuelled the past and present yacht club expansions and will likely fuel future expansions, while we were unsure of exactly what was causing the Universe to expand at the same rate, we can now say quite confidently that sailing is the answer”.

What this means for the future of both aeronautics and sailing is anyone’s guess, however Dr. Ratball offers some words of advice: “The universe continues to expand and so does the yacht club, both making room for more sailing, so get out there, for only by sailing more and getting more people to sail can we begin to fully understand this relationship and study it further before it is destroyed as the laws of Physics chillingly fortell”. Perhaps buoyed by Dr. Ratball’s persuasive tone, when asked about the exciting discovery and what it could hold for the future, prominent VBYC member Alexander James Tooley was heard to remark during the annual season windup: “I’m gonna sail to all those far corners of the universe, and if there’s no one there to sail with, I’m gonna sail back here, have some cold beers and sail some more”.

VBYC Insider

1 comment:

  1. This is the best blog in the universe.