Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Tooley Campaign Rents Space on Broadway Avenue; Leaked Photo Threatens to Derail Bid for Commodoreship

Winnipeg - Having made few moves for months, AJ Tooley (pictured at left) suddenly seems to be girding for a pitched battle with Ken Taylor for the Victoria Bach Yacht Club's Commodoreship.

Matthew Metcalfe, a downtown Winnipeg property manager has confirmed that he is renting space in a post-war walk-up on Broadway Avenue to Mr. Tooley and that on the the first of this month, staff moved boxes of files and equipment into the space.

The activity on Broadway Avenue corresponds to Ryan van Berkel - the rumoured Tooley campaign manager - being suddenly summoned from Mexico, where he was vacationing with family. Mr. van Berkel's brother and spokesman, Stuart van Berkel, said that no final decision as to whether Mr. Tooley will run has been made but when it is it will be announced, as always, via letter to Jian Ghomeshi.

Ken Taylor, widely recognized as a master political strategist (though generally a lousy sailor), has not declared whether he will seek re-election. Though Mr. Taylor is widely seen to be vulnerable some pundits feel sailors would be reluctant to vote a sitting Commodore out of office in a year where a major expansion is planned.

In addition, a brewing controversy is beginning to engulf several of Mr. Tooley's closest associates. Two days ago a video was leaked to the press showing Roger and Jeremy Ritsema at a boozy lunch with both Charlie Sheen and John Galliano, two celebrities who are currently mired in serious and thoroughly distasteful public scandals.

And finally there is the issue of the leaked photo of a young Mr. Tooley holding a science class presentation that appears to suggest, in detail, what causes WIND. The question has evaded scientists for thousands of years. If it turns out to be true that Mr. Tooley has long understood the physics behind WIND he could be indicted by the VBYC for failing to disclose his knowledge and participating in numerous Bingo Derbies on false pretenses. A committee has been struck and will investigate.

1 comment:

  1. Bravo!

    It's nice to know there are other Tooley's in the PNW fighting the good fight!