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Wrapping up the 2010 Profiles

Ken Taylor

Ken Taylor has spent the past few weeks knee deep in neoprene and fibreglass patching his wetsuit and his boat in preparation for another season as Commodore of VBYC. No need to ask what the frequency is this summer as Kenneth has shooed all the rats out of his sailing gear and stepped the proverbial mast for Summer 2010. Hopes abound that Kenny T and the rest of the Yacht Club membership can make at least one decision this summer after a series of well-publicized meetings held over the winter at his Cactus Cove home in the heart of the cruel desert of South St. Vital accomplished absolutely nothing. Alas, it must be noted that K-Dog's heart and soul are focused on competition and he will likely hold racing first and foremost. Rumour has it that Killer-T has wielded his power as Commodore to sanction a series of late-night single-boat 'races' on dates of which only he knows. Those points should help the defending champ hold onto the multi-hull title along with what VBYC racing analysts are calling a 'sure bet' for another Course Corrector trophy. Though last year's public celebration was remarkably reserved, suspicions of a private celebration were later confirmed. An interview with Traverse Bay Corner staff revealed that the old tar had purchased an entire case of Presidential Sparkling Wine in the hours leading up to the awards ceremony and the subsequent issue of 'Policeman's Corner' in the VB Herald put aside any doubt. The article read: "VB Police responded to complaints of excessive noise at approximately 2:40am early Sunday morning at a summer residence in the restricted area. Corporal Lindsey Stevens detained a wetsuit clad man pouring champagne (later identified as sparkling wine) all over himself as Queen's "We are the Champions/We will rock you" played on repeat at an inappropriate volume through a portable stereo. The man was later released as he cited an important pending engagment at 10am that morning at 2 Victoria Bay." Regardless of Summer MMX racing developments, late night revellers at the annual Wind-up can be assured of a sangria-soaked plea from K-Bomb for help de-rigging his boat.

More Summer 2010

Jonathan Beardsley

You thought he was dead? Or in Brazil? Yeah, so did we. But nope, Beardo has been in town all winter. Resting, presumably, for 2010. Whether he’s being torn into at his own Thanksgiving dinner, or bringing his hipster front to the sandy shores of CHouse Beach, this guy’s friendly demeanour always brightens the mood. An original windsurfer among his generation, look for The Big Struggle to be a force to be reckoned with this summer - or not, it’s hard to tell. But we love him.

Christopher Chipman

Slowly rebuilding the VB bridges he systematically burned one at a time through his teenage years, this wildcat is looking to contend in a serious way in 2010. A long-time windsurfer and founding Elk-Idaist, Chris brings the heat. Yet another strong curler (seriously, what is with the fucking curling?) Chippers is like a fine wine - in that they’re both awesome to party with. Though his work schedule conflicts with maximum shredding, at one point this spring he’s going to drive down to VB, stop by his cottage to grab Heshbag’s Iphone, cruise the Yacht, rig up Benny’s gear and blow everyone’s mind. Go Dip!

Jeremy Ritsema

Multi-hull extraordinaire. Some people thought this guy’s predilection for Hobie’s was a result of having the legs of a runway model. But then he got up on an old windsurfer pulled behind a motorboat and stayed on for almost two hours. At one point he lit a cigarette - with both hands. This guy’s good at anything water-based. It doesn’t hurt that Ol’ Jers has two mentors: not only is he the son of Kron Ritsema, he’s also been making challenging cuts for Hankus Lodekus for years. With his golden locks and benign temperament it comes as no surprise that Mr. Ritsema is a sought after name for companies hoping for endorsements. In the past year he has appeared in commercials for Heinz’s new juice line, HJ!; Export ‘A’ Gold cigarettes ("Ever smoked the Gold at the end of a rainbow?"); and Ya Ya, the popular energy bar. Whatever Jers is selling, we’re buying in 2010.

Ryan van Berkel

Superfriend Ryan van Berkel, where to start? A relative newcomer to Number 2 Victoria Avenue, Berkel has taken the place by storm. Two years ago he joined the club and quickly mastered windsurfing, without ever using his gear. Last year he followed in His Honour Orest Dackow’s footsteps and transitioned to multi-hulls. His racing season was hobbled by his innate sociability but he and crew Matthew Macleod were serious contenders for each of the Club’s two hotly contested bingo derbies. As a potential manager of Alexander James Tooley’s 2012 commodore bid, van Berkel has lately been the subject of intense speculation. Though insiders report that a tension-filled curling season opened a fissure between skip and crew, both camp van Berkel and camp Macleod claim they are on good terms and are hoping for the best in 2010. Furhter, reports surfaced last week suggesting that Mr. van Berkel was considering a purchase of the Moonlight-In. His lawyer, an Aikins star, denied those reports (or at least that’s what we think he was saying - he wasn’t, shall we say, perfectly coherent). A blog post drew attention yesterday when it speculated that Mr. van Berkle’s recent trip to Toronto was to visit a specialized dermatologist to treat a rare skin condition caused by uncontrollable rubbing of the neck. Yep, this guy is a gossip-mill: if he’s not the subject, he’s the source. Chances are, he’ll also be the source of some swell sailing for years to come.

More Summer 2010

Benjamin Peterson

Two or three years ago, as the wind pushed past 30 knots, Aaron Vincent asked BoPie if he’d cruise by the pier for some action shots. Ben, having windsurfed all morning reluctantly agreed. He looked tired. After fighting through that widow-making onshore Clubhouse break, Benny screamed past the pier ten or fifteen times. Vincent crouched on the pier, his legs curled under him at impossible angles, a plastic bag stretched over his ridiculous camera. Back on the beach, we watched as Ben crashed onto shore, exhausted. Someone ran into the water to grab his battered gear. Benny vomited all over his wetsuit and then fell onto his back. Chenzo got off his towel and causally strode down to the water. He looked over the collapsed snarfer. "Peterson . . . if you don’t get closer to the pier, I’m not even going to bother taking your picture. You’re just wasting my time here." As Penny McMorris once pointed out from the Yacht Club deck, this kid is an aggressive fucking windsurfer. Though not a born windsman like fellow Elk-Ideist AJ Tooley, or a rig-mauling beast like Pooh-Bear Sorensen, Bennay is still his generation’s premier talent. If in 2010 you glance out onto that cruel mistress of a lake in a blistering gale you will see Roland, Ted, maybe a McCaig - and this fella.


Matthew Macleod

Matt Macleod isn’t actually that short, but for some reason he seems like it. Maybe it’s because he’s weighed down by his gravitas. Whatever, it’s killer on a boat. This guy is quickly making a name for himself among the old bulls around the Yacht Club. On day last year Kenneth Taylor asked who the young bearded gentleman was. Someone said ‘Mittens’. Kenneth said I thought that guy was Mittens. 'No' we said, 'that’s Muffin'. KT looked confused. But KT always looks confused so don’t sweat it. Another individual coming off a hot curling season, Mr. Macleod was long rumoured to be looking to trade-up to a more prestigious boat. Those rumours have died off but insiders report there are negotiations ongoing between Mr. Macleod and his skip Ryan van Berkel as to who will be in command for 2010. The only certainty is that together, they are an almost frighteningly friendly team. So when that flag pole starts clanking annoyingly as a crisp wind slaps across the bay, look for Macleod’s Cheshire grin to be replaced by a slightly more conservative smile: it’s business time.

More Summer 2010

Alexander James Tooley

With a group of friends, Sir Mark Tooley bought a limousine and drove it sporadically through much of the 1980s. Lauren Skelly was, as a newborn, brought home from the hospital in it. The gang gave a friend of theirs a chauffeur’s hat and paid her to drive them around. Once, they saw her wearing the hat off-duty. She was fired on the spot. Yeah, the Tooleys have great stories. And it’s likely AJ will make some new ones this summer. Some of those stories will undoubtedly derive from on-water antics. This aristo-cat has a legendary feel for the wind, and is technically among Elk-Ida’s finest sailors: it has been said he can maneuver a windsurfer through the neck of a beer bottle - but he claims he’s never tried. Fresh off an award-winning curling season, AJ is set to put it on smash. This Friday, he and Conrad Black host a white tie wake for Bryn Oliver where the glitterati will party like it’s 2006 - leave your Roots sweatshirt at home.

More Summer 2010

James Thomas

On rare occasions when he isn't dining with his family or reading a novel under the shade of an Elm tree in the Village Green, James Thomas can usually be found enjoying the sunny Western end of the Yacht Club deck. Indeed, on a beautiful Saturday morning James is often the first member of the non-racing crowd to arrive and can be counted on for a warm welcome, pizza bun, fresh Export Gold, and the latest news from the New York Times. The eldest son of Greg 'Big Cat' Thomas, renowned sailor and longtime VBYC member, is filling his father's sailing shoes confidently but respectfully as he keeps the family's monohull tradition alive with strong windsurfing skills and impeccable style. It has been alledged that his commitment to a single hull is so strong that James has never once set foot on a Hobie Cat. While the rumoured ambition of 2012 Commodoreship proved to be unfounded speculation and disappointed many members of the Club, it is reassuring to know that James is carrying a lot of sail into the unknown waters of Summer MMX.

Yacht Club 2010

This starts a week-long series previewing the 2010 Victoria Beach Yacht Club racing season . . .

Roger Ritsema

Rarely has crewing been quite so ice-cold. Mr. Ritsema famously brings a degree of menacing nonchalance and blue-eyed aloofness to 2 Victoria Street (where the venerable Yacht Club gazes out onto the steely water). Mr. Ritsema spent the winter training at the University of Winnipeg’s elite Nautical Centre under master skip and former federal Minister for Water Sports, Dr. Lloydington P. Axworthy. In January, Mr. Ritsema led a much-publicized research expedition to the frozen edge of the Elk Island World Heritage Site. An account of the expedition was published in Science but was questioned on the veracity of some of its more surreal assertions - piles of frozen fish heads and lone wolfs loping out into the frigid horizon? Yeah, right Rog. Known for his seriousness and dedication to craft, the North End born legacy of seafarer Kronald Ritsema was spotted last week crooning at a hip Village speak-easy. You can bet the song was from Top Gun because this young guy is a true Iceman.

Tom Aldridge

This Beach Cat has sired more rumours than Bruce Fuckin’ Willis (that's a pun on Rumer Willis for you losers who haven't torn the roof off with her and L.Lo at the Manning's formerly annual Gin Bash). Is this the year Tom gets back on a boat with his father, Chris ‘Adult Dance’ Aldridge? We honestly have no clue - but we did see his picture in the paper one day, which may or may not have been planted by the Aldridge’s PR people in advance of a high-profile comeback. Good thing he works for Canadian Linen, because if this fearsome pro is back on a boat this summer, his opponents are going to be wiping away a lot of tears.

Daniel Schott

Schootsie has more nicknames than the Wu put together. That’s the way this elusive cat rolls. Does he live at VB? Calgary? On Victoria Island? Bermuda? In February he was photographed sipping a Mulberry (believe me it’s a cocktail, it's just that people here aren’t cool enough to know about it yet) with Joe Biden, Chloe Sevigny, and the world’s foremost Grace Kelly impersonator at a hotel bar in Ibiza. Yeah, that Ibiza. So what does summer 2010 have in store for Za Muff? - You think we'd know? Speculation abounds that he has finally combined his one-seat hovercraft and 18 foot Hobie into a well-lacquered superboat. Don’t bet on it. Speculation abounds that he’s finally going to open his under-Shack lair-slash-windsurfing museum to his friends and the interested public. Don’t bet on it. Speculation abounds that he will replace his brother with Obama’s latest nominee for the Supreme Court, Elena Caveman Kagan, as his crew in high wind races. But you know, don’t bet on it.

- Compiled from briefing notes kept by Allen Willoughby

Chamesin' His Tune: Thomas Out; Tooley Now Rich People's Last Best Hope

Winnipeg - A contender for the Victoria Beach Yacht Club Commodoreship has unequivocally withdrawn from the race and swung his full support behind Alexander James Tooley. A spokesman for Chames Thomas held a brief press conference on the grounds of the Legislature yesterday afternoon. The spokesman declined to speak specifically on Mr. Thomas’ reasons for quitting the race but speculation persists that he is considering accepting an ivory tower position at the London School of Economics.

Others insist that such a position would never be accepted by Mr. Thomas on the grounds that it fundamentally compromises his political persona. Mr. Thomas’ parents, a lowly civil servant and an architectural historian have long been invoked as his connecting point to the working class who are his political base. The family’s rickety cottage tilts precariously amongst the grime and despair of Victoria Beach’s notorious Fifth Avenue. Others point out that a private school education, time spent studying at the posh University of Toronto, and grandparents who attended Harvard University undermine this image. Indeed, critics doubt whether or not Mr. Thomas would be seen to be a darling of the working poor, had his rival not been the son of Sir Mark Tooley, an influential member of Sunset Avenue’s landed class and former editor of the powerful weekly newspaper.

A spokesman for Mr. Tooley expressed his thanks for Mr. Thomas’ support. It has not been a terrific week for the Tooley camp as a scandal at his former high school - the elite St. John’s-Ravenscourt - has re-opened questions about the closed and secretive world of privilege from which Mr. Tooley comes. Moreover, tension has run high amongst the Tooley clan as there have been delays on the family’s massive renovation of their palatial estate. The family’s contractor is scrambling to find an appropriately large diamond from which the kitchen sink will be carved.

In addition, speculation persists that Mr. Tooley is wooing political strategist and powerful social convener Ryan van Berkel to help with his campaign. Mr. van Berkel recently played an instrumental role in helping elect Dr. Richard Ratball to the VBYC Board of Governors. He has also frequently been retained by Victoria Beach’s Peterson family to help with public relations. For his part Mr. van Berkel has had his own embarassing scandal to worry about. This past winter the famous "What does she like" text message was leaked to the world. On Tuesday evening was photographed in meetings with Tooley aides at an upscale hamburger shop.

- Herald Staff Reporter

Local Sailor Double-crossed

Winnipeg - Emotions ran high last night as a lone mono-hull sailor was lured into a Colonial Age brick fortification with promises of cold beer before being barraged by a team of multi-hull sailors with designs on conversion. Under dark skies, the lone sailor was picked up from his home by one of the crusaders in a sleek black sedan driven by a non-sailing third party. The unassuming passenger was then given a false sense of security as the conspirators plied him with psychoactive drugs and soothing early 70’s music. Upon arrival at the residence of the second crusader, the lone sailor was led through a locked wrought-iron gate and through a bare hallway into a room marked only by letters and numbers. The room was sparsely decorated save for a multitude of maps - which are believed to indicate the location of hotspots for multi-hull activity. Multi-hull propaganda, including a catalogue for Hobie Cat and a local trade magazine known to occasionally publish advertisements for used multi-hulls, was strewn about the room. Upon realization of his predicament, the trapped sailor attempted to gain the offensive edge with facts about the maneuverability and control of a mono-hull, but was soon overwhelmed by loud music and nonsensical comments from the enraged duo while the un-associated third party grinned unsettlingly and chuckled occasionally but spoke no words. A cursory glance at the wall revealed a shattered picture frame - evidence of a previous struggle. After becoming attuned to the futility of his situation, the mono-hull sailor shrewdly changed the subject and began plotting his retaliation while he indulged in the cool beer that had originally enticed him.
- Herald Staff reporter

Rumors and speculation heating up in run-up to 2012 VBYC Commodore election

Rumors and speculation have been swirling from the highest mast post down to the lowest sun starved sand beneath the yacht club deck of a possible election showdown between friends Alexander James Tooley and Jamie Thomas for the VBYC commodore position in 2012.
Thomas a long time VBYC member and sailing advocate is considered a rising star in Provincial politics in Manitoba. Thomas’ political prowess has not gone unnoticed as the Provincial New Democrat Party have taken more than a cursory glance at the young man, perhaps looking to groom him for a post in the future. An unnamed party official agreed that a commodore title at his age would do well to raise a few eyebrows among the party elite. Many hours spent contemplating in reserved silence under the dome of the legislative building is said to be building what most pundits believe to be a steely level headed resolve that could be the mark of a great leader.
While Thomas‘ racing history at the club is less than complete or spectacular, it is believed his father, both VBYC and VB community pillar Greg “Big Cat”Thomas is more than willing to dole out sound advice about the finer technical points of yacht racing, appealing to the pro-racing voters who have historically held sway within the club.
Tooley, also a long standing member at the VBCY and executive of the VBYC expansion committee is a burgeoning player among the commodity exchanges around the world famous Portage and Main financial capital of Manitoba. Renown for being well dressed for all occasions and delighting more than a few with his wit and charm at social gatherings, the man seems poised for a quick rise toward the elite of Winnipeg. His future vision and steadfastness to “make things happen” align Tooley with the younger more untamed members of the club.
Tooley, a onetime junior sailing champion and respected instructor of monohull sailing fundamentals and racing, more recently seems to have turned his back on his roots in favor of the less structured and more carefree class of windsurfing, surely not boding well to win over voting purists of the sport. When asked of his famously quick exits from commitments and social situations when the leaves in the trees begin to rustle the unflappable and brazenly honest Tooley delivers the famous Moitessier refrain: You do not ask a tame seagull why it needs to disappear from time to time toward the open sea, it goes, that’s all”
A potential Sunset backyard seasonal windup on the Tooley estate has many members openly discussing their party attire and in what range of quality and temperature the beer would served, harkening back to decades ago when only the finest landscapes and chilled beer that VB had to offer would be acceptable to the yachting members.
While Tooley has the backing of the venerable and influential “Sunset strip” crowd, Thomas’ working class roots and “middle of the avenues” common sense approach to issues is likely to appeal to undecided voters. It has been conjectured that renowned party planner and generally well organized yacht club member Ryan Van Berkel has been approached quietly by both sides to gauge interest in a said to be lofty campaign post. Van Berkel refused to comment when reached. Thomas also would not confirm what has oft been rumored would be his campaign slogan: “Chames you can believe in”.
- VBYC Insider

Anxiously awaiting the upcoming season.....

Ice like Winnipeg

this is pretty neat

quenching

From the Archives: August 31st, 2008

Victoria Beach - A community lost an icon last night at the Victoria Beach Yacht Club’s annual wind-up soiree when a reveler seemingly fell onto a storied white Styrofoam cooler. Details are sketchy but eyewitness accounts claim that VBYC member Ben Peterson was dancing wildly when he lost his balance and fell onto the cooler which exploded releasing water, ice and ice cold cans of beer across the club’s plywood floor. Attempts to resuscitate the cooler were made at the scene, but were unsuccessful.

The coffin-shaped Styrofoam cooler was sent to the club by Chinese Premier Wen Jiabo in the early 1980s as a threat after the VBYC Sailing School chose to buy German-built optimists over the Chinese design. It immediately became a fixture at the club’s wind-ups. Bruce Guest remembers the first wind-up with the cooler. "As we filled it up, we knew it looked like a relatively decent cooler, but when we started pulling beers out of it, we knew how special it really was," said Guest. "God those beers were so cold."

The coffin, as it was known to the club’s members, became an ironic symbol of hope during the dark years of the late 1990s and early 2000s when the decline of the monohull fleet decimated races and Commodore power struggles led to deep divisions among the sailing community. In the last few years an influx of windsurfers has powered the club’s resurgence, and the cooler, having long been half-empty, again seemed almost to burst with beers for the burgeoning community. Long time member and former Chief Safety Officer, Jeff Hughes, could only shake his when told of the news. "Through thick and thin," he said, "we always had the coffin."

Police Chief Stewart McPherson said that the incident is being treated as an accident and that there seems to have been no malice in Mr. Peterson’s actions. "Though Mr. Peterson is known to us, we have no reason to suspect this was anything other than an unfortunate set of circumstances," said Chief McPherson. Mr. Peterson is best known as the older cousin of windsurfing phenom Andreas Sudermann. He was last in the news after a widely publicized incident at a Victoria Beach reunion of his prominent family. Mr. Peterson was not available for comment.

- Herald Staff Reporter

Soft spoken, sinister, sharply dressed goateed man applies sophisticated mind control techniques, brings down expansion proposal

Flying in the face of reports on a popular wind sailing blog, members of the Victoria Beach Yacht Club (VBYC) who thought they had voted down a club expansion proposal of their own volition, it seems were sadly duped by an apparently unassuming well dressed goateed man. Appearing inconspicuous and purporting to be afraid to be a “turd in the punch bowl” a seemingly quiet, shadowy character whom afterwards VBYC members could not readily identify, went on a precise verbal barrage against the proposed plan, referencing impressive sounding architectural terms and phrases and barely masking his contempt for the plan and everyone else in the room.
In hindsight this highly intelligible sounding rant had a remarkable effect on the audience, many members began to eschew their previous thoughts about the proposal and their opinions began to strangely align with the soft spoken closely cropped goateed man. As the vote proceed to be heavily in favor of rejecting the proposal, a creepy sinister smile eased on to the man’s face and his eyes flared for a moment. It appears some members were able to keep their wits about them and vote for the obviously strong proposal, whether this was all a part of some master plan has yet to be revealed. Following the vote the man seemed to have slipped out of the room unnoticed, an area resident reported seeing a slick, confident man walking toward a vehicle mumbling in a deep powerful voice about “Phase one” being “complete”.
VBYC members questioned afterward could not readily give any strong reasons as to why they had voted down the proposal and many admitted to having a “hazy” memory of the actual vote and events preceding it. Reflecting on the bizarre circumstances one can only reasonably assume that the smartly dressed goateed fellow had implemented urbane mind control techniques in order to bow the course of the meeting and secure the vote in his regard. It can only be assumed that the mysterious man is in his lair, plodding and planning a sinister phase two for the VBYC expansion.

- VBYC Insider

Tooley-McMorris Proposal Crushed

South St. Vital - The co-chair of the Victoria Beach Yacht Club's Expansion Committee had his proposal crushed last night in an 11-3 vote. Alexander James Tooley had put forward a Ted Geddert design which would have almost doubled the size of the VBYC’s current facility. The aesthetics of the proposed plan seemed to be the sticking point. "I want to vote for this, I really do" said club member Dr. Richard Ratball, "but I just can’t get past the looks".
Many feel the expansion committee made a tactical blunder in making Mr. Tooley the meeting’s non-voting chair. Chris Aldridge, a long time Club secretary and canned beverage enthusiast suggested that had Tooley been able to cast a vote it may have stimulated a groundswell in support. "You never know," said Mr. Aldridge, "you get one more vote early and maybe guys start to want to not be seen as the stick-in-the-muds." However, after talking to members of Mr. Tooley's staff it was not clear how deeply he supported his own proposal. The evening's proceedings were marked by a strange sense of ambivalence towards the project which, to take effect, would ultimately have to receive royal assent from King Orest Dackow.
Two of the proposal's supporters, Roger Ritsema and Jamie Thomas (voting on behalf of his father, 1988 Redeye winner, Greg Thomas) were roundly criticized for not having supported the view with more enthusiasm. "Pretty weak" was the opinion of one of the meeting’s staffers who wished to remain anonymous in order to comment on internal matters, "those guys have reputations as bringing an articulate view to the table but they were just ineffective - if you don’t make a case for it, no one will vote your way." An aide to Mr. Ritsema shrugged off the criticism. "Our feeling was that the time and price was right, but having said that, I don’t think anyone in that room was comfortable with the design," he said. Ryan van Berkle, a senior member of Sailing Manitoba, was also largely quiet save for moving a motion that would have equipped the club with a direct line to the Moonlight Inn. The motion was soundly defeated. Mr. Ritsema was clearly surprised by the motion, "I’m not sure, at this point, that anyone is worrying about those kind of details."
Mr. Tooley and fellow expansion committee member Ivan McMorris left the meeting in a black town car and have not been available for comment.
After the meeting Jeremy Ritsema, who voiced the first complaint against the project's design and is widely viewed as the architect of the expansion plan’s defeat, stood under a Cactus Cove streetlight to address members of the media. "I think there are good things happening at the Club," said Mr.Ritsema, "But this plan was simply not the right route. The desire to move forward is clearly there, and that's exciting, but we cannot waste members' money on a design that is flawed conceptually and, frankly, aesthetically," he added, lighting a cigarette.

- Herald Staff Reporter

The dip gets tired after a long day on the water

Alexander James Actually Pretty Good at Windsurfing Now

VICTORIA BEACH—Four years after being blasted as an elitist for his Ivy League education, wealthy background, and hobby of windsurfing, sources say that Alexander James has in fact become quite proficient at the water-based leisure sport.


"After losing the VBYC Commodore election in such a humiliating and disgraceful manner, Alexander really threw himself into windsurfing, and I'm happy to say it paid off," said James’s longtime adviser and windsurfing coach, Gary Albl. "Everyone claimed he was too wishy-washy and didn't have a thick skin, so he said he'd show them all, and he did. His T-bones and slamjibes speak for themselves."
Albl, like many of James's friends, said the defeat at the polls may have actually been a blessing in disguise, since it allowed the Young Associate from Manitoba to spend more time on his true passion. As evidence of the incredible progress James has made in the last four years, Gary pointed out that the former Commodore candidate is now able to perform a number of freestyle moves and some light carving without hurting himself. James also reportedly knows all about tacks now, and can stay on the board a full minute longer than he could during the last Club Commodore campaign.
In addition, his water starts have matured significantly.
Besides upgrading his windsurfing board class from Freeride to Formula Windsurfing, aides said he has made strides in other areas to escape his image as an out-of-touch patrician. According to a press release from his office, James can now play eighteen holes of golf at a public course, as well as meet large groups of factory workers without wincing, and remember that his favorite Bob Dylan song is "Lay Lady Lay" without first checking with a handler.
It is not known whether Alexander James intends to use his new skills in a future presidential run. When reporters reached him for comment, he was being swept into Yacht Club Bay by a 35 mph gust of wind.

Newsflash-----

Victoria Beach, MB, Canada - In a splash heard 'round the world, local windsurfer Richard Ratball successfully aired over the Goverment Pier. One insider called the feat "the biggest thing to happen in windsurfing since Ben Peterson's alledged heroics out by Backloop Point." Ratball singlehandedly ended speculation on whether or not the six foot tall, twenty foot wide structure could be jumped. When asked if the landing was clean, witness Aaron Schott said, "Oh fuck yeah. God, he just stomped it, gybed, and cruised back towards Clubhouse Beach." Upon arrival at Clubhouse Beach, windsurfers hoping to congratulate Ratball were disappointed when they found only his gear surrounded by several empty beer cans and cigarette butts. Ratball has not been seen or heard from since; the only confirmation of his existence being a crudely scribbled application to the local yacht club found days after the historic accomplishment.

Local Commodore leads double (triple?) life

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Obscure multi-hull sailor dominates regattas
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Diplomat shelters Americans in secret deal between USA & Canada
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He wore a shirt of violent green.
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the peg

Dryland Training

Chames just "love(s)it when Poppa Van Berkel takes us out on excursions."

thanks RVB

i don't know why sometimes schootsie gets frightened

you can see in my eyes that i'm not fucking lying

from Windsurfing Magazine, September 1866

Windsurfing Magazine: We’re sitting here with windsurfing legend Mark Twain. Mark, thanks for being here.

Mark Twain: No problem bra.

WM: I hear you had a few big weeks last summer. Tell me about it.

Twain: I had just published the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn to total critical acclaim and was kicking it a lot with some friends of mine who were on R n’ R from the b-field, dudes that saw Gettysburg and shit. Blue jacket and cannon ball shit. Gnar. They were looking for something to roll back on and we just thought: Gorge, wind, ripping. Simple as that.

WM: What kind of gear were you on?

Twain: Dude I had burnt so many bridges by that point that I was using whatever I had lying around. None of those corporate sponsor guys could stomach me and my antics, man. Who needs it though, right bra? Fatcats and shit. I just use whatever’s under my feet bra. Beer over gear, dude. Right?

WM: I guess so. Pretty wild times on that trip?

Twain: The night we got there we pulled our carts and buggies in at like midnight. There in the tavern is a bunch of dudes I knew from back in Illinois. And none other than the man himself: Abraham Fucking Lincoln! They were just PARTYING. Anyway, long story short, next thing I remember I’m tearing apart a 4.8 in a 32 knot sou’easter, buck naked except for Lincoln’s hat. Abe never let me forget that shit. Makes me well up just thinking about how much I miss dude. Fuck y'all n- that shot Big Poppa!

WM: Jesus.

Twain: I get shakey just thinking about that weekend.

WM: I’ll bet. Tell me about your windsurfing memoir, 'Adventures of Huckin’Barrels on a short Fin'. The Quaker Times called it ‘more relevant than the constitution’.

Twain: I’d be sitting in my cabin, alone in the woods, bra, and I’d be writing certain passages about ripping and I’d actually feel my b’s creeping towards my a. That’s when I knew this book would be good. No Twain, no gain - alright . . .

WM: Any last words for the kids, Mark?

Twain: Watch your skulls bra!

VBYC early daze

note the impressive motorboat fleet and vinnie's boathouse. jeah.
click photo to enhance viewing experience
quarters and hams chickens chickens and bricks.

it's on the way baby

Arnaud de Rosnay Pioneering Windsurfing Voyager

Check it: http://www.windsurfing-legends.com/arnaud-de-rosnay.html

It Does Exist

Double or Nothing is a movie, Who's buying it first?

"DOUBLE OR NOTHING - REVISITED" is back by popular demand. Featuring World Champion Francisco Goya and flambouyant wild man Jason Prior, this flick tells the story of what one has to endure to make it to the top of Maui's windsurfing world. As the movie was cast, Jason (Jazz) and Francisco (Cisco Kid), were relatively unknown, never placing in the top 16 of any contest. By the script, they innovated the double loop, and by the end of filming, Francisco and Jason placed 1st and 2nd in the Oneill Windsurfing Classic at Hookipa. Francisco would go on to become overall World Champion, winning all 8 contests in 2000, and Jason, well, he would shred his own path around the world, conquering exotic windsurfing destinations. Revisited is completely re-edited, with new tunes and action footage. Another Impact Zone Production produced by Jonathan Weston with additional footage by Tonix. Available now!


http://www.windflicks.com/2or0.html

Ice

Windsurfer becomes first to test skills in Alaskan waters
Gazing up at the ominous mass of ice above this wind surfer got a little more than he bargained for when he decided to test his skills in the icy waters of Alaska.




Surfing just yards from the unstable 150 metre high walls of the Chenega glacier pro windsurfer Florian Jung became the first man ever to windsurf in the barren wilderness of Alaskan waters.
Facing Arctic winds and water temperatures of just one degree Celsius Mr Jung achieved a life long dream.
"I have always dreamed of windsurfing near a glacier," said the 24-year-old German. "No one else has surfed in front of the glaciers in Alaska before and I wanted to be the first.
"I normally surfs big waves in Hawaii and when I revealed my dream to a surfing friend back in Hawaii, he told me it couldn't be done. So I put my 1972 VW van on the line and off I went."
Flying out to the small town of Whittier in the glacier region of Alaska in August, Mr Jung set about his unusual adventure accompanied by a marine biologist in a boat.
He said: "The population there is only 183 and when we arrived they couldn't believe what we were attempting to do."
Measuring one mile in length the Chenega Glacier is highly unstable with giant ice rocks breaking off and crashing into the water almost every half an hour.
"I studied the region and talked to a lot of scientists about the clima-change and what happens with the glaciers there at the moment," said Mr Jung.
"I am used to travelling from one sunny surf-spot to the next.
"When you see a glacier calving it is very impressive – but very dangerous. If an ice rock fell too close to myself or the boat then it could prove to be fatal for everyone."
Mr Jung wore a special thermo neoprene-suit to cope with the 1-2 Celsius water temperature.
Chenega Glacier is a tidewater glacier located in Prince William Sound and on the Kenai Peninsula in the American state of Alaska.
The glacier is a tourist attraction, drawing many kayakers and small cruise lines to Nassau Fjord where the glacier meets the ocean.

Article from "http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3813392/Windsurfer-becomes-first-to-test-skills-in-Alaskan-waters.html"

after a big day on the water

my logo gets branded in your neck

VB Yacht Club 2012

gripping

TOOLES?

ELK-IDA LEGIT?

HAH, NOW WE GOT VANS

Sit back jollyin' uh huh uh huh

smooth sailin;' walked in, my earth started kneelin'

The Worst Windsurfing Video Ever

Don't get me wrong. I would've voted for him.

But, John Kerry managed to lose to George Bush at politics,

and everybody hates George.

Maybe he should've sailed a little further from the boat.

Our Future

Peel your wig back!

*(Regardless if it be powdered, rainbow afro, rastaman, afghan or wolf head...it's yer wig...what matters is that you peel it goddamn back!)

Check those bright leaves stirring on the dirty trail...the wind is picking up....

Elk-Ida Windsurfing

labatt's was on point

Birley?

this was on the same internet

nice equipment

fuck off

"yeah, i windsurf"

everbody has fun fun fun. windsurfing

ElK-IDA

Daaaaamn

windsurfing nectar

This is John Kerry with Bs fully in A. He ran for President against George Bush in 2004. He lost - but if he had won, he would have brought the world's coolest thing to the White House: A love of windsurfing. Luckily, Barack Obama won in 2008, bringing the second coolest thing in the world to the White House: Hacking butts.

the only sweet picture of kiting ever

why isn't he wearing armour?

Extreme Velocity

Bob Naish with his B's in his A

double or nothing